Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
