That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
