I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
where are you?
Hypothermia
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
