what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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