Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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