imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
