Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize