Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All the doctor said was why
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
