I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize