Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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