If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize