imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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