Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
