2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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