I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
