just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I need a beard to bite.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
