guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Randomize
