Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
