I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
