My sheets look like a crime scene.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
