just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
