those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
