Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
