I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
