He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
birth control should be required to get into college
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
