I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
