he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
