idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
send nudes
from the living room?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
