What did we do last night that was yellow?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
