Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
