She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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