WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
