All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
