Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
