Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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