I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
