There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
