me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
