Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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