trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish i was in the wii world.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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