I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
