Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
