There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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