Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
