For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
