I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
