she woke up with a sticky ear
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
