C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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