There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize