I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize