Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
