So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
