Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
