I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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