My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Even the bartender felt bad for me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
