I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
