grandma shit on top of the toilet
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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