Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
