I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
