I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
