Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
