Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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