they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
