Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
