I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
