I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
