I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
