I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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