i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
