Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Actions speak louder than pants.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
