I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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