I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
