OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
